SesameLuv on Xanga

Quote

I tell you everything that is really nothing,
and nothing of what is everything,
do not be fooled by what I am saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying.
~Charles C. Finn

Esmee Denters - Outta Here

Rantings

Saturday, 14 November 2009

super weather

Today we had the best weather to sleep in. The cold, the wind, the rain, the darkness... perfect. I slept early yesterday and today I woke up super late. I would have went back to sleep but i jumped up when i saw the time, because my parents would have kicked my ass. thankfully my parents was not home. =)
there was a quote somewhere that i saw... it goes like... the person who suffers most is the one who does not know what he wants.
I don't know I think I kinda agree with it then again I am bias.
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so recently bumped into this guy that was talking to when i was oldering food awhile back. haha it was weird. i was at the supermarket at like 11pm and i see this person walk by the aisle and im thinking do i know him. then that guy backtracks and stares... Ml and me both thought it was the other person's friend so we both waved. it wasn't until we were closing in that I realized who he was... haha shanghai guy that i was talking to when i was not exactly sober. anyway we said hi and then we exchange contact info... ok i didn't give mines but i said i will keep in contact. I love the internet its such a nice way to keep in contact without really being in contact. anyway... this guy called me older sister today right before he signed off... I was caught off guard! boy did I feel super old at that point. I feel that the majority of the people that I have been meeting are always younger than me. most of them at least 3-4 years younger. where are the people my age?? have i become so old that the people my age are also in hidding? hahaha who knows.

Friday, 06 November 2009

Finally November!

Seriously October this year felt so damn long!!! Let see my uncle's wedding is finally over. I can stop worrying about what to wear. Halloween I wasnt planning on going out but I ended up going to three ending parties... haha wasn't too bad plus I can say that I stay at three parties till it ended. I was trying to go for a Lotilta look but I got caught between going for cute or more gothic so at the end I was caught in the middle going more toward cute. No one really got who I was going as so I just told people that I was a dumb chinese girl (blonde bimbo) the other response was... just myself. lol thats what you get when you don't put enough effort into it. Today however one of my friends actually mention Lolita and I was happy. haha means that I did have a bit of a success. Should have put more makeup on the eyes... not that I didn't have a few layers on already.
I have been trying to quit smoking but right now still on and off. I believe that my "colds" are associated with smoking, that is why it never really goes away. I was just feeling better and then I started to smoke again and bam I got a cold again.
Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. My mom told us that we are eating in and that we have to prepare dinner. That means i gotta get up early to figure out what to cook, find the recipe, prep, and cook. now what time can I actually get my @$$ up.
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On another note I am wondering how my ex-friend is doing.
There was a friend of mine Z he was telling me about how after a relationship there is no such things as being friends (at one point I would disagree, but as of now I agree). anyhow Z and his gf had broken up about 6months ago after going out for 3-4years. he was telling me that there should be no contact what so ever. the ex (who already found someone new) kept calling him and he would ignore it. Recently he started talking to the ex again and... we know this is where trouble starts. He was once hurt again. I didn't even know how to confort him. Its like we all know the right thing to say, even if we can't do it ourselves. we also know that the things coming out from our mouths are the better choices to the situation. but we also know how hard and seemingly impossible it can be to accomplish at that point in time. because of those points, anything coming out of our mouths are just BS to the other person.
I could almost felt his pain and anger and it was most likely directed more to himself than the other person. If he had just stuck to his plan he might not have gotten hurt by the same person again. I have sorta been on both sides of the situation before and now I can see how evil it was to try to stay friends. aye... therefore... I beleive that if you have a good friend let it stay that way. Friendship after a relationships are really rare.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

makin dinner

Been making dinner for my family lately. So much work! Especially all the bowls that pile up by the time i finish cooking. Searching for recipes is pretty bad too... The ones that suck me in are the ones with the pretty picture, although you really can't judge a dish by how it looks. Trust me there are a lot of failed recipes that looks so yummy. Lately I've been trying to learn how to make Asian cuisines. Even though they come out pretty well, they just don't taste special to me. Ml is right, we are use to eating Asian cuisine everyday, I just can't rate it 4- 5stars .

Anyhow I am still searching for the best beef stew recipe, still have not found one yet. The reason is because there are just too many of them out there! I can't decide! I bought some of the ingredients already just need the perfect recipe! By the way I need an idea for dessert too. I have to perfect it so I can go compete with one of my friends in a dessert competition. heheh

May still a little sick I think my mom gave it to me after I was getting better with the cold I had. Lately my sleeping hours took a turn for the worst. I'm sleeping in till 4pm and sleeping early in the morning. I stop taking my vitamins lost my appetite, and get heartburns. Bad bad May. I thought with my dad home I straighten all that out but I guess not.

Monday, 19 October 2009

ups and downs

ooOOOoooOOOooOOOOOOooOoooooOOOoooOOooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOoooOOOo

I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnna grow up. Lately trying to change some old bad habit. Trying to learn to move ahead and to not look backwards. I was doing well and then there are days when I just feel so down. BLAAAAAAAAHH

Went to yello this past weekend, don't know how I end up drinking so much more than I had planned... and of course I did some embarrassing things while I'm drunk. Also we had our long planned and delayed seafood event before heading to the bar.

so this guy that I know called me again today. he's trying to get me to join the World Financial Group owned by AEGON. He himself just joined about a month ago and had already spent 100 buck to get his first license. I dunno to me it just seem and feel like a scam but he seem so excited by it. Therefore I did some googling seems most people believe its a scam but there seems to be some supporters. so i don't know... I think that fact that its own by such a big company does sway me a bit. however i'm not interested it this kind of business and still feel its a scam. thats my opinion and i have no facts to support it.

PS LOOKING FOR A GOOD BEEF STEW RECIPE!

Saturday, 10 October 2009

daddy is back

ehh I just been to lazy to update. being sick sucks all i do is grab the laptop and browse ebay and the internet for things to buy. now i'm stuck btwn getting something for my orchids, buying a mini cherry tree, or a good humidifier that cost 200bucks. I really should get a job to fund all this. hehe the other day i got a vm with someone trying to setup an interview me. I was shock. It turned out that one of my friend referred me to the company and the branch manager called. too bad totally not in my field or something that i'm interested in doing... btw if i sell insurance would u buy it from me?

my dad is back from his long ass vacation! I don't think he is staying long though. life around the house def a bit different with dad home. first meal times are more regular. i wouldn't dare sleep into the late afternoon. def no nightlife although being sick contribute to that too. its nice and weird to have my dad home.